Revamp Your Dating Goals

Perhaps it is the allure of spring. Maybe it is the after shock of a lack luster holiday season. It is usually right around now that our dating goals get pushed to the wayside. The hurdles, zigzags and awkward first dates have made the process a bit less enticing. In fact, it has shift the dating urge to the back burner.

It’s time to muster up your motivation and change your thinking to a more successful action plan.  Here are a few ways to see the journey to coupledom as exciting as the end:

Self Compassion
So, your cubemate has found the love of her life. Your cousin brought her new flame to Easter dinner. Stop comparing your process to those around you. We each have our own dating path to the one. Being kind to yourself and not judging the twists, turns and dead ends you face as complete failures will give you strength. Kind words will take you further.

Find Your Support System
Studies show that the strength of your support system is your greatest asset for resilience (bouncing back from disappointments), success and happiness. Don’t use friends and family as a venting post but rather a place to regain your sense of gratitude.

Tweak Your Habits
We live a good portion of our lives “mindlessly,” relying on old habits and patterns of thinking. Often times we run on automatic without paying attention to the world around us or the opportunities available. Sometimes old habits, like going to the same coffee place, need a bit of a shakeup. Turn off the television, attend the art gallery. Form new habits like going for a morning walk that will help you in your dating adventures.

Rethink Roadblocks
Humans are programmed to spot the negatives. When the dating process gets hard, boring or stuck in a rut, it is easy to look at the roadblocks. Point the blame at the GPS and allow the issue to continue. Perhaps it is time to change your thinking. Practice a bit of positive psychology. View the issue as temporary and that there is a chance it will get better, change.  See roadblocks as a moment to pause, reflect and head a different direction . . . rather than putting the brakes on the whole journey.

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